Sunday, August 23, 2009

Off to The Colonies!


On the very best kind of logistical note: we are off to Indonesia for two weeks of "muck diving" — i.e., the kind of diving where one scrounges around on a sandy sea floor in search of strange and wonderful creatures like the mimic octopus.   

We will be completely, delightfully off the grid for the next two Mondays and so Peanut Cheese will be on hiatus until September 14 (or thereabouts).  

We've had our eye on Indonesia since we moved.  Actually, we've had our eye on Indonesia since about 1997!  But we had hoped that it would be easier and cheaper to get to Indonesia from the Netherlands than it is from the U.S., in part because Indonesia is a former Dutch colony.  

It was definitely a no-go on the cheaper part, but as a consolation prize, we occasionally encounter Dutch people of a certain age who still refer to Indonesia as "The Colonies."  

Or who express longing regret that Indonesia is not still a colony, since to them, the best possible situation was traveling to a tropical paradise and still being able to speak Dutch.

I find this sentiment both charming and vaguely horrifying.  

For my part, I am hoping not to speak Dutch at any point while on vacation.  

Though it has infected our everyday conversation so that now John and I speak a largely incomprehensible pidgin of English and Dutch at home.  

For example, the Dutch use the phrase "volgens mij", which literally means "following me", or slightly less literally, "according to me."  It's used all the time as a casual interjection along the lines of "I think" or "If you ask me".  

But the literal translation is irresistible, and so I find myself speaking in English and adding "according to me" to whatever it is that I'm saying. According to me, we need to leave at 9 to catch our train to the airport. And so on.  

In other logistical news, I'm thrilled to report that the painting is finally done!  (And that I finished with about 4 milliliters of paint to spare.) 

My final hurdle was painting the mustard-yellow built-in bookshelves, and they are now busily curing.  Our plan is to triumphantly move our books from the floor to the shelves when we return from vacation.  


The end of painting has meant the beginning of hanging art on the walls, which is great because it makes us feel like we have a home again and not like we crash-landed in an abandoned warehouse that just happens to be in the Netherlands.   

The not-so-great part is that each and every hole in the wall requires a thick masonry drill bit, a plastic anchor, and all of the manly drilling power that John and/or I can summon.   And a vacuum cleaner, for clearing away the pile rubble when we're finished.  

There's nothing quite as suboptimal as jackhammering a 1/2-inch hole into a freshly spackled, meticulously sanded and carefully painted wall in order to hang up an 8x10 picture frame. According to me. 

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Like A Fish(stick) To Water



Banksy vs. Bristol Museum might be the coolest art exhibit of all time.  And it had lines — I mean queues! — to prove it: 


(Thanks to Eugenie for being such an intrepid queue photographer!) 

Back in Loughborough, Eugenie and I had pillaged her closet and dolled up a little for the exhibit.  I was feeling a little communist in a lovely red cheongsam.  So while we waited in line, we took some photos.  


I complained last week about how everyone in the Netherlands thinks I'm Russian, but I'm starting to see what they mean. 


Sadly, the full effect may be lost in the wool sweater I'm wearing over the red dress, but a) this is one of the most telling examples of my true fashion sensibility ever captured on film, and b) by this point, we had been standing in line for two hours and it was raining.  

It might sound a little harsh, but we probably would have visited the non-Banksified Bristol Museum only if we were marooned in Bristol for five days with small children, and on each of the five days, it was raining.  

(Bizarrely, the American Museum of Britain is located in nearby Bath.  Next time we need to stock up on Navajo jewelry, we'll know where to go!) 


But with the Banksy takeover, it was truly a sight to behold.  The ground floor was a dizzying amalgamation of Banksy street art, paintings, sculpture, and animatronics.  


On the three upper floors, the entire museum had been infiltrated with Banksy art and art objects. 

For example, one might find a fishing trophy situated next to a taxidermic beaver.  Or a mouse hidden among early Japanese textiles.  

In each gallery, one or two of the paintings had been modified in some clever, irreverent way.  Think Baby Jesus wearing an iPod.



Things got even better when we spotted the bank of terrariums with animatronic sausages. Which are captured here for your viewing pleasure by John, charming boyfriend and videographer extraordinaire.  

 

But it probably goes without saying that the pièce de résistance was the swimming fish stick.